50% Gays married, 14% were sexually abused as 7-yr-olds

Strap: Study conducted on 410 homosexuals in the cityreveals that around 50 per cent got married to hide their sexual orientation asthey feared social stigma; 14% sexually abused at age 7 or 8
Mrs and Mr Jignesh Mehta (name changed) were envied by many for their perfect love life. They were best friends in college and got married in 2010. Everything was fine till a third person walked into their life. What hurt Mrs Mehta was a secret her ‘best friend’ hid from her for years.  “I am a gay. I love you but I also love him,” he told his wife one night.  That was the last time they had a private conversation. Every meeting later was in the presence of divorce lawyers. Two years later, they parted ways.

Mr Mehta told Mirror said, “Since childhood, I was more attracted to men, but I did not have the courage to accept it, and got married to her. However, I was never sexually satisfied. So, for the first time, I opted for a relationship with a man and was finally clear about my sexual preferences.”

“I did not inform my wife initially, because I was scared of hurting her. But she began quarrelling with me every day, thinking there was another woman in my life. So, I was forced to tell her the truth. It changed everything. I was disowned by my family and even lost my job,” he added.

This might not be a new phenomenon in Gujarat where the society still considers homosexuality as ‘abnormal’ and ‘unnatural’. But a study titled ‘Sexual behaviour and practices of men who have sex with men in Ahmedabad’, conducted by community medicine experts of Gujarat Cancer Society (GCS) reveals that almost 50 per cent of homosexuals get married as per their family’s wishes due to fear of the society.

“Half of the homosexuals surveyed said that they wanted to marry a man, but married a woman either due to family or societal pressure,” the study stated.

In Ahmedabad, a total of 4,100 gays are registered under targeted intervention (TI) for HIV prevention by NGOs and Ahmedabad Municipal Corporation. Out of these, 10 per cent were selected and interviewed personally through semi-structured questionnaire when they came to drop-in-centres for meetings.

During the interviews, most of the gays expressed fear in revealing their sexual orientation.

“It is shocking that 50 per cent of those surveyed are married and lead a dual life. They have two personalities, and it is quite exhausting for them to fit into both. It also leads to depression,” said Arpit C Prajapati, professor of community medicine, GCS Medical College.  

“We decided to conduct the survey as we thought it was important to find out the mental condition and sexual behaviour of homosexuals. Also, there is limited research on the topic,” added Prajapati.

14% SEXUALLY ABUSED

As adolescents, homosexuals fail to under their sexual orientation and often live in confusion, which makes them vulnerable to sexual abuse, explained experts.

As the study reveals, 14.1 per cent gays had history of sexual exploitation. “They had their first sexual act with a man at 7-8 years,” said Prajapati.

But surprisingly, none of them file any police complaint or report the matter to the family. “They live under psychological pressure and fear of revealing their identity. They never tell anyone even if they go through any sexual abuse for years. In 80 per cent of the cases, those who exploit them are their own relatives,” said Dr Girish H Banwari, a psychiatrist practising at NHL Medical College.

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